Does A Mountie Shit in the Woods?
(Dedicated to the baby bear killed - as a result of the multi-million dollar security 'efforts' for the G8 Summit in Kananaskis, 2002)
Now here is a true story, I'd like to tell with this song
It's about an exclusive meeting, but I think there's a little something wrong,
They're hiding in the mountains, 'cause they don't want the world to see
They're a group of hypocrites and the G8 Summit's just a global shopping spree.
Now Kananaskis is very fragile, but the Mounties are giving their word
They'll take environmental precautions, so we can be rest assured
No harm will come to the forest, but the only thing that I've heard
Is that they're training police to squat down on their knees and baggy up their turds
Well does a Mountie shit in the forest? No they're too environmentally aware
No they'd never shit in the forest - well perhaps they really care
Well the bears are getting restless because the pigs are moving in
But the woods will become a safety zone from their bums,
They'll leave nothing for the bears to step in
Well the Mounties are getting ready to answer the call of the wild
They're stepping up to the challenge, but there's a little strain in their smiles
Cause the woods will be filled with a new predator, the scary terrorists like me
And hey there's no donut shops among the Rocky Mountain tops
It's uncharted territory
Well does a Mountie shit in the forest? No they're too environmentally aware
No they'd never shit in the forest - well perhaps they really care
Well the bears are getting restless because the pigs are moving in
But the woods will become a safety zone from their bums,
They'll leave nothing for the bears to step in
Well call me a little crazy, but my mind is still not at ease,
I think they're avoiding the issue with such a focus on the Mounties' feces
Cause at least it's biodegradable unlike the rubber bullets and the gas canisters
I'm more concerned with tear gas then what comes out a Mounties' ass
And I'm sure so are the bears
Now the moral of this story is simple yet painfully clear
A Mountie can't shit in the forest when the trees have all disappeared
I said those bears are getting restless 'cause the pigs are moving in
To protect the scum that wants to turn their homes to income for the greedy profiteers
And the bears are getting restless because the pigs are moving in
But the woods will become a safety zone from their bums,
They'll leave nothing from their behinds for the bears to step in
SOCAN All Rights Reserved 2002